If there is one thing Ghanaians love more than eggs, it is exclusivity. Wanting exclusive rights to anything and/or any place will literally leave Ghanaians foaming at the mouth and choking to death.
Since we have already established that Accra living is basically built on branding and overpriced goods, it is not surprising to see basic apartments, overly priced, and tagged “luxurious.” Here are 6 things that make a “luxurious” apartment according to Accra.
1. It must have Artificial Green Grass.
On a Saturday afternoon when you are bored, just step out and visit 5 out of the hundreds of luxury apartments in Accra. Upon entry, if you are not greeted by this green carpet, just come and collect your uber fare.
2. It must be a 10- 15 mins Drive from the Accra Mall/Kotoka.
Notice how We only mentioned “Luxury Apartments” in Accra? Yeah because according to realtors, the only way nice buildings can be called luxury apartments is if they are in close proximity to specifically, the Accra Mall and Kotoka Airport because their target market is not people like you and I, rather, it is people who can book a flight to Italy to go and buy Pizza, because they are ‘craving” it and come back to Accra to eat in their apartments. Are they your mates??
3. It Must Be Priced In Dollars.
Remember the exclusivity we mentioned? Yeah this is where it comes in. If the luxury apartment is not priced in Donald Trump’s currency then it must be a two-star hotel or a student hostel. Again, follow who no road. Are you the target market my brother?
4. It Must have a POP Ceiling with Led Lights.
What says and smells like money more than a ceiling with inbuilt coloured lights? These 10-20gh bulbs do not look anything like luxury. So to convince you, your dollars were actually worth it, they might as well borst your mind, with some ceiling designs and coloured lights. When you stare at them long enough, they start to look like stars in the sky and help you sleep better.
5. Art Must Be Hanging On The Walls.
If you are in one of the few luxury apartments that claim to believe in Minimalistic culture, you probably won’t enjoy seeing framed art around as much. However, most of them have large frames of art hanging in the rooms and their hallways to add a local touch to the “foreign” environment. So yes, your dollars is giving you tourism in Africa vibes from a foreigner’s perspective in Africa. Smart right?
6. The Security Guard Must Call The Person Expecting You.
What is the moral of this story? Exclusivity! Ghanaians love exclusivity and it is is killing us. This is all the luxury apartments need to do and all of us will “off” pant for them. Just because security is calling to ask you for permission you think you own the place? Please dear, your money will soon finish and you will go back to shouting “Yes, who is it” at your gate.