If you’re in a serious relationship it’s possible that the “spark” has almost disappeared. You love each other alright but the monotony of everything happening in your lives has removed that spark that was there before but you need to make sure that despite everything, you communicate and are still very intimate, and I don’t mean sex.
Here are 5 ways to sharpen your communicate skills in your relationship and improve your intimacy.
1. Create Safety
One thing you should never do is use your partner’s words against them otherwise it makes it hard for them to come and confide in you. You should be their safe space and anytime they have an issue, you’ll be the first person they’ll run to.
2. Know that you’re different
The way both of you like to communicate is different. You may be upfront about your issues and just say them as it is but your partner may be more reserved and it has nothing to do with you. You just need to know the signs. Maybe they’ve become more quiet or they keep zoning out when with you. Once you see the signs you know there’s something big on their minds. If you’ve created that safe space where they feel comfortable telling you their issues, all you have to do is tell them you’re there for them and encourage them to talk to you. Don’t push it. Just wait until they’re ready.
3. Actually listen
There’s no point in talking to someone who doesn’t actually hear what you’re saying. Listen quietly. Listen compassionately. Listen without judgment. Don’t override, pounce, or fill in the silent gaps. Don’t pass comments. Just allow your partner to flow and when they’re done, you think about what they’ve said quietly and let them know that you understand.
I cannot stress on this point enough. Timing is legit everything!! You can mess up a nice evening when you don’t time your comments or retorts. Something that was meant to be a joke can end up spoiling a nice evening.
5. Don’t expect your mind to be read
And this point goes to both genders because women tend to assume that their partners know what they want since they left some “clues” behind and some men just completely zone out. Sometimes they don’t even know they have. They just brood over whatever is on their minds. Don’t expect that your partner will know what’s happening with you because you’re acting a certain way. They also have the issues they’re dealing with. Just speak and let them know.
I hope these points help you out. Remember, communication goes together with comprehension. Both of you should try and understand where each person is coming from.
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featured Image: black couple via shutterstock.com