Today’s anonymous contributor is a 23-year-old female called Miss D who is a student in one of the Universities in Ghana
My boyfriend inspired me to be celibate even though I’ve had sex a number of times before meeting him. Before we decided to date, he told me that he wanted us to be celibate and I agreed to it. Apart from him being my major inspiration, the Bible also did its part since we have been encouraged in there to keep being celibate till marriage.
“There have been times where I’ve been with him in the room and I want to touch him or kiss him or even cuddle with him or do something sexual but he would stop me and ask me to remember what he said about being celibate. He always puts me on track.”
When I realised it wasn’t going to work my way, I started researching a lot on abstainance from sex before marriage and within a space of 4-5 months, I gained a lot of knowledge about it and it is a part of what keeps me going. I also spoke to people who were also being celibate in their relationships. They gave me advise and words of encouragement which also kept pushing me.
The switch from being a sexual person to being celibate hasn’t been easy. Initially, I thought it was going to be extremely tough but as I kept going, it became easier. My attention has completely shifted from the sexual part of the relationship and helps me focus on everything else. Plus, I have an understanding partner who helps me out; there’s no pressure.
“You also need to be in an environment that doesn’t push you to have sex. I only go to his place during the day but even if I go there in the evenings, we sit in the hall or the balcony because I know myself and he knows I will be tempted as well. We normally stay clear from the bedroom.”
Being celibate has helped me a lot. When I started having sex, it became quite difficult for me to stop even though I knew my religion and morals were against it. After sex I used to feel all sorts of wrong. I used to really think about it and wonder if I made the right decision to actually have sex but right now, everything is in alignment. I like the fact that things are going the way I want them to go especially considering my faith.
Celibacy has helped me know my boyfriend outside sexual activities. There are some relationships where its basically all about sex and when the sex doesn’t happen in a month or 2, they both become distant because that’s really the only thing binding the relationship.
I feel like if you want to be right with God, you should be celibate plus you’re able to differentiate between the people who just want you for sex and the ones who are all in for you. It also helps you in your personal growth.
The Kuulpeeps Relationship Series is a weekly series that explores different aspects of sex life through the eyes of our anonymous contributors. For the next few weeks we are focusing on Celibacy. If you want to share your story with us kindly fill this anonymous form.
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