I am celibate because of personal, religious and cultural values and expectations. Apart from that, I do not understand why I should be sleeping around with other people or even one person, when I haven’t made anything official under the marriage covenant. Sex is supposed to be done in a certain context and this cuts across all the major religions I know about in Ghana. Our cultural values don’t support this and even personally, it doesn’t seem right.
There are challenges when trying to stay celibate because I’m human. I have hormones and urges but it’s a matter of self-control, self-discipline and not putting yourself in compromising situations. It’s difficult because if you lose guard you can easily fall off and do stuff you’re not supposed to do.
I think it should be easier if you are single but if you’re dating, you should be with somebody who shares your personal values; not only about celibacy but also about so many other things in life because if you are dating with a purpose and the relationship is supposed to lead to marriage, then both of you should have similar interests cuz you would have to live together for the rest of your lives.
“If you’re with someone, I advise that both of you talk about celibacy. It shouldn’t be an untouchable topic. Come to a decision and if you have urges try and get back in check.”
As for me, I take it from the basics. Usually what you feed your mind with, that’s what you’ll reproduce so if you’re watching things with a lot of sexual content and feeding your mind and your eyes and having a lot of conversations about sex, you’re more likely to develop such urges but it’s true that sometimes, the urges pop up from nowhere but if they didn’t have that foundation to live on, they wouldn’t be able to stand.
“I wouldn’t say it’s a struggle. It’s really not easy but if you know what your purpose is and what you’re aiming for, you would be able to stick to what you’ve decided to do.”“
I think it’s a great thing to save up for marriage in a sense that, when you’re with one person, you’re able to enjoy sex with just that one person. I think it’s quite embarrassing to be sleeping around.
Sex is a very sacred, very personal and a very deep connection you’re having with someone so it doesn’t sit right with me that you have to share it with so many other people. Like, it doesn’t really make sense to me. Plus, you’re sharing it outside the context of marriage.
Yes, so that’s it. Religious values; my religion supports celibacy before marriage. Personal values; I think sex is meant to be shared in the context of marriage and Cultural values; society frowns on it because of so many obvious reasons.
The Kuulpeeps Relationship Series is a weekly series that explores different aspects of sex life through the eyes of our anonymous contributors. For the next few weeks we are focusing on Celibacy. If you want to share your story with us kindly fill this anonymous form.
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featured image caption: Source: whro.org