In this era, with so much tech and all these messaging apps, long-distance intimacy can happen rather simply. As a result, catching feelings has never been quite so easy. The symptoms don’t always show, and sometimes by the time you realize it, you are already in an uncomfortable situation. Women tend to be several times more emotionally self-aware than men. So, guys, this is what NOT to do.
Texting can be very stimulating. Exchanges of wit, flattery, and memes with a similar minded person can be very enjoyable. If you are texting a person every day, there is a certain intimacy that accumulates, and there is a good chance that you’ll get attached. If she feels the same way back, no yawa. But if it is one-sided, and she actually just enjoys texting, look who’s in the corner all by himself with feelings. Just texting is alright, as long as you understand what it means in the context of the actual relationship. If you’re getting along really well over text, ask that person out. Be direct and shoot your shot, it’s the only way to know where you stand without misinterpretation.
Women can tell when a guy is getting attached, sometimes even when the guy can’t. If she’s getting uncomfortable with the attention you’re giving her, there are going to be signs. Don’t ignore them. If she makes jokes or deflects when you make a pass at her, chances are she’s not interested. It is not always a cue for you to try harder, please. In extreme cases, she will leave you on ‘read’ for hours at a time or miss your calls repeatedly. If she doesn’t ghost entirely, it means she enjoys having conversations with you, but she just needs you to cool off.
You should not be cyber-stalking her. If you are obsessively keeping up with her social media posts on every single app, something is wrong. If you are going through her posts during the times that you are not interacting with her, you’re putting yourself in a position to exaggerate her place in your life. That is not healthy for you.
Don’t get lost in the e-flirting. There is a certain lack of accountability and consequence when you are alone in a virtual space with someone. You can both say things without it meaning too much. If you flirt, and she flirts back, that is not necessarily actual confirmation of any feelings from her end. It may very well not amount to anything outside of that virtual space. Again, if you think you are getting all the vibes, exit that virtual space and see if the chemistry holds up in the real world.
I think we’ve all had times where we’ve been crazy about a girl. In my case, I ignored the obvious in order to chase after the person I wanted. Sometimes, these very obvious things need to be pointed out to you. Don’t go catching feelings when you hardly have real-world time with a person.