Growing up, most ladies are taught to:
a) Keep their virginity for their future husband because men respect women who are chaste.
b) Cover up. There’s no need showing your body to the world since your body is for only your husband
c) Learn how to cook since the way to man’s heart is through his stomach. Be good in the kitchen or else, your beauty will lead you to marriage but your bad kitchen skills will bring you back home.
Society has made us believe that those who go contrary to these rules are “bad” and unworthy of marriage.
“Bad girls” go to the club, wear short and revealing clothes, have pre-marital sex on a regular and do not like to have to do anything that involves the kitchen.
Most people from this type of traditional home setting do not learn how to interact with the opposite sex since in their minds, they have to be pure. Some people legit think that even guys who just want to be friends with you, deep down want to sleep with you and so they don’t want their friendships.
A number of women think a husband will fall on their laps just by praying, hoping and wishing for it, forgetting that apart from the spiritual realm, you’re living in a physical world and if you want certain things you need to go out with your chest and get it!
There really isn’t anything wrong with being a religious girl who loves to cook and is keeping her virginity for her husband, but you should be doing this because you actually want to; not because your family and society want you to be that way.
What really is it about a man that a woman has to be moulded for? Maybe, women should be raised for themselves and not for a man because what a man wants can’t be predicted. A man will always want what he wants and his choice of a woman follows no trend.
You can preserve your chastity for your husband and he’ll eventually cheat on you. When that happens, what’s next because you did everything society asked you to do?
Even if you were brought up by prude parents, you need to be who you are for yourself; don’t do it for society because society will still blame you if anything goes wrong.
Being a “good girl” in that misguided context of staying at home every time, not clubbing, not making friends, not engaging in youthful activities and not putting yourself out there will more likely get you no one than it would land you the man you’ve always prayed to God for. No one will date you if they aren’t seeing you.
“Bad girls” are out, meeting new people and networking and building connections for their work and personal life and you are at home praying for a “good man”.
Go out and be yourself and meet people; have friends who you think you can date. Get your heartbroken. Get out of the heartbreak stronger. Get to know what you like and don’t like in a relationship and finally decide on who you want your forever to be with because the movie and fairytales we think relationships and marriages are all about are just that. Fairytales.
You need to go out and live in the reality and truth of the world, holding on to your home training and common sense.
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