If you struggle to achieve authentic happiness, you’re not alone. Everyone feels bad sometimes, but it’s important to learn how to feel better and actually understand why you feel like you can’t be happy.
The key to a true pursuit of happiness lies in practising self-care — and that means more than occasionally getting a mani-pedi. It’s how you practice good mental health and protect your emotions.
Here are 3 simple tips to help you feel better fast so you can feel happy again:
1. Don’t let negativity overwhelm you
Looking at the wall when you’re racing a car will lead you to slam right into that wall. The first step in becoming happier and lighter is to notice your emotional starting point.
The feeling of fear, doubt, and lack will wreck everything you care about. If you start allowing fear into your relationships, you will ruin everything.
That’s why the first step after you’re aware of negative emotion is to allow the emotion and then talk yourself down. Whether something has happened to trigger it or not, talk yourself through the negativity. Your life goes where your mind goes. Same with your relationship. If you’re constantly afraid they’re going to leave you, you’re going to act unattractively and you’ll drive them away.
2. Change your focus
If your default emotions are negative, you’re going to get more negativity and lack. Instead, start looking forward and think about what you really want. So often in life, you’re just reacting, not thinking about how to have a peak experience of any kind, or considering what you actually might want.
You have a thought or feeling and just go with that rather than actually stopping to logically consider what you want and where you actually want to go. Something happens, we feel hurt and we try to move away from that hurt. Or we do something, it doesn’t feel the way we expected, so we run.
This reactive position might get us temporarily away from pain, but it’s a sidebar path that doesn’t have a goal attached. Instead of acting, we’re reacting.
Instead, move your focus to achieve that, rather than whatever fleeting feeling you’re having at the moment. If you’re feeling unfulfilled, dwelling on that is counterproductive. Want to feel fulfilled? Do fulfil actions. Move toward fulfilment instead of away from a negative feeling.
3. Celebrate the process, not the results
Think about going to the gym. If you want to get fitter or stronger, you can’t simply look at a picture of a fitness model and say, “That,” snap your fingers and have it appear, right?
It’s the same with feeling better. Reward yourself for maintaining a positive mindset while you’re having that mindset.
Back to the gym example, if you darken the door of the gym and show up, be excited about showing up.
Make the success about showing up. If you keep showing up, you add to the chain and build self-esteem around what you’re trying to improve.
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