There are countless articles and websites filled with information on how to seduce your wife. There are techniques, tips, and advice from all manner of sources. So what is it about sex, especially in marriage, that we struggle with so much? And why does it always seem as if everyone else is having better sex?

The truth is, they’re probably not. They’re likely grappling with the same sexual issues you are. Those who are truly experiencing the best sex are typically further along in years, or further along in their relationship. So take heart. Relax. There’s plenty of time to get there. But sexual satisfaction in marriage won’t happen by chance.

It’s amazing to me that sex can create such incredible emotional connections and orgasmic ecstasy, while at the same time it can just as easily create profound isolation, loneliness, and shame.

It all boils down to this: Sex is much more than an act. It’s a metaphor.

Many married men timidly approach sex with their wives. From initiation to the actual sex act, men often fall victim to the “do what worked last time” philosophy. They look and hope for ways to have sex with their wives without bringing up the subject, or they go through their day trying not to upset her out of fear she won’t want to have sex later.

The problem with this is that they’re not really taking charge of their life, or of their relationship.

The biggest mistake husbands make is in believing that women like the same things they do. Sorry fellas, but reaching over in the morning and grabbing a breast — while seemingly a fairly clear signal to you — is usually not a way to ignite her passion; nor is it foreplay.

How a woman feels when she is with a man is the primary factor in whether or not she experiences attraction and sexual desire. And what she wants to feel is trust.

For most women: trust = lust.

If a woman seems to have lost interest in having sex with you, our guess is that you haven’t given her a reason to trust you, or that you’ve killed whatever trust she once had.

So how do you develop and maintain a high degree of trust in marriage? Basically, through your strength, your presence, your confidence, and your integrity. Click Next to know how to be a better husband and earn the sex life you’re dreaming of.

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