7 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Try an Open Relationship

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Question #3: What exactly are you hoping to achieve by opening your relationship?

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Open relationships attract a wide variety of people. Some just aren’t cut out for monogamy. Their pair-bonding instincts are too weak, or their need for novelty is too strong.

Others started out conventionally monogamous, but at some point, they decided to be a little more adventurous.  Once you’ve had to cross one erotic boundary, the others tend to look less scary.

Unfortunately, many people seek open relationships for other reasons: because they feel unloved; or because their primary relationship is emotionally dead; or because they’re bored; or because they need a quick sexual fix; or because they have trouble asserting their needs in their primary relationship. In short, the same kinds of situations that traditionally lead people to cheat.

Just like an affair, your open relationship may offer you relief from an unsatisfying primary relationship. But it’s unlikely to do your primary relationship much good.

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