SATIRE: Mugabe Tells Us The Story Of His Amazing Life!

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He was a leader.

He oppressed some and made others laugh.

This is a satire, told in the voice of the late President, Mugabe.

Image result for mugabePhoto of the late Robert Mugabe

First of, before I became the old Mugabe you know, I was a young man; even though I still looked old.

Young Robert Mugabe
A young Robert Mugabe

My name is Robert Gabriel Mugabe and the next thing you hear after Zimbabwe is me!

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Robert Mugabe when he was president

I was a family man and I was always seen with my wife who constantly made me laugh

Robert and Grace Mugabe
Robert Mugabe and his wife, Grace Mugabe

 

As we all know, I was the President of Zimbabwe for 37 years.

Robert Mugabe
Robert Mugabe

But sometimes I forgot I was the president and…

Robert Mugabe
Robert Mugabe

… I slept during a lot of meetings and conferences.

Robert Mugabe sleeping
Robert Mugabe sleeping

I had a lot of achievements as president, like being knighted by the Queen…

Robert Mugabe and Queen Elizabeth II
Robert Mugabe and Queen Elizabeth

… and meeting the late Fidel Castro.

Robert Mugabe and Fidel Castro
Robert Mugabe and Fidel Castro (right)

During my time as President, I told the white people not to interfere in my country’s business, but they didn’t listen.

robert mugabe

So I took away all their farmlands and gave it back to my black people!

robert the mugabe

I basically did that because I hate bullshit!

Mugabe

Being a president wasn’t easy for me at all. Everybody teased me. Some even said I looked like Trump.

Image result for robert the mugabe

It got worse when I had that great fall.

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Mugabe falling on his return from an African Union meeting in Ethiopia

Everyone used me as a meme…

Image result for mugabe fall
Mugabe meme from Twitter
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Mugabe meme
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photo of Robert Mugabe

I eventually resigned as president in 2017 and everyone was happy

I don’t have to explain why I resigned. I owe that to no one.

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photo of Robert Mugabe

I put it to all of you that even though I was old, I did a great job as President

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Photo of Robert Mugabe

Now that I’m dead I don’t know what the future holds for my dear Zimbabwe.

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Photo of Robert Mugabe

I lived a good long life and I’m glad to have served Africa!

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photo of Robert Mugabe and his son

Robert Mugabe was a revolutionary leader who, at a point, became a controversial one who dominated his country’s politics for almost 4 decades.

We pray he rests in perfect peace.

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