In this life er, nothing is guaranteed. Your life saf is not guaranteed. You don’t know when anything will actually happen; all you can do is to pray and hope and have faith that things will happen as you want.
The same philosophy applies to relationships. You’ll be there thinking you’re in a secured relationship. You’ve probably been dating for over 3 years. Family members of both sides know that both of you have a thing going on which is pretty serious. Your friends have already predicted that you’re getting married and ereally dey be you. When they make such comments then you have a shy smile on your face and tell them to “stap it!”.
Lmaooo! Eno be small love dey do you!
Then you wake up in the morning to see a message from bae. Normal right? With that smile on your face to see the message… they’re sorry but they need space away from you… it’s not you, it’s them… they’ll understand if you decide to hate them… they wish you all the best in your endeavours.
You’re stunned… confused especially! What did you do wrong? What happened? Or maybe you didn’t read the message well? You go back and read it again but it says the same thing. Ah… what’s this?
You try calling them; it goes through but they don’t answer. You call a second time but this time it doesn’t go through. You’ve been blocked.
You’re still confused. What just happened? What’s going on?
You’ve been dumped and you cannot even get closure. Sucks but it just happened and you don’t know what to do next but let’s help you out.
The first thing you should remember is to remember to breathe. Sounds dumb but you need to really calm down. Anger will be part of the emotional cocktail in your system and you need to lock it down. You don’t want to be the bitter ex that everyone talks about.
Now you need to feel the pain. It might come in waves but you need to feel it. All of it! If you need to cry, go ahead cuz you don’t want to suppress your emotions but on the same subject, don’t spiral out of control, and make sure you have a support system around to help with this.
After all the tears, you need to focus your energy into a distraction. If you’re going to throw yourself into work, do it. If you have to throw yourself into your books, do it. Whatever good that you can indulge in to get your mind off everything, do it!
Now that you’re a little better, you’ve taken control of your life and you’re trying so hard to recover, you get a text from him… “Hey…”. You’re confused, should you reply?
If you still need closure and you can handle yourself around them (and you won’t breakdown and beg them to come back to you) then you can respond and in the course of the conversation, get the closure you deserve.
Then again if you know you cannot bear it, block them! Block them everywhere so they can’t reach you and get you back to what you were at the time of the breakup.
To conclude, you need to remember that this is just a rough patch… this too shall pass! The pain will not kill you. You just need to focus on yourself and your goals. There really are better days ahead, love.