Let me begin with a shout out to all die-hard members of the beard gang… and a moment of silence to those who didn’t persevere to the end. For those with Dumbledore beards, normal beards or chin smooth as a baby’s behind (one-strand gang), here are 8 things you may not know about beards or already relate to.
It is not an end to shaving
Regardless of how long you intend to grow your beard, it’s not wise to pick a fight with your barber or razor. You will need to trim your beard.
It is more stressful than shaving
Growing a beard is not easier than shaving. It involves a lot of investment in beard shampoo, beard oil, beard conditioner, trimmer etc. It demands more patience than you give your girlfriend and requires looking in the mirror too often. Basically, friends and family will think you are gay and they will have proof.
Using “Robb” or “Curl Out” doesn’t help
The Brenya’s can painfully relate to this. There are specialized creams that facilitate beard growth, you can also go for testosterone injections but whatever you do, don’t bank your beard gang eligibility on Robb or Curl out
Drinking Becomes Stressful
You will leave traces of beer, ice cream, even crumbs of biscuit in your beard constantly and you will have to constantly keep your beard clean and without evidence of what you have been eating.
It will have an impact On Your Romantic Life
Your beard will mess with your intimate moments, it will literally come between you and your woman when you try to make out but it can also spice things up if you are creative. You could use it to spice things up when you decide to go down…. (is this mic on?)
Your Beard Is older than The Rest Of Your Body
If you have a history of grey hair in your family, you’d notice it in your beard first before the rest of your body
You Will ALWAYS Carry A Comb
Beards get easily messed up, like from your house to the junction and it starts looking disheveled. You will need a small comb in your back pocket and check yourself out on any reflecting surface… remember what I said about looking gay?
You Can Easily Get It Wrong
There are many things to consider before growing a beard, it is not as easy as leaving your hair to grow willy-nilly. You should consider how long is decent, what length will draw attention to you at the airport or get you escorted from the bank, how close it should be to your neck, etc