5 Things You Definitely Don’t Want To See Your Crush Do


Having a crush who doesn’t know you have a crush on them is excruciating. They are constantly doing things you don’t want to see or wish they didn’t do at all. Here are 5 of the most uncomfortable things to watch your crush do.


1. Altar Call

That moment the Pastor says, ‘if you want to give your life to Christ please step forward’ and you see your crush moving is one of the most heart sinking situations ever. It’s not like you have anything against your crush finding salvation but you sorta-kinda do. The problem here is, you know immediately that their focus is going to shift for the next few weeks as they try, hopefully unsuccessfully, to forget everything and everyone and make time for only church and God. It is selfish and downright devilish of you to not be happy about this but you really hope that would only happen after you’ve told them how you feel and they have responded favourably.


2. Evangelism

You know what’s worse than your crush suddenly becoming chrif? Them preaching to you. On a regular day you are looking to avoid the preachers who want to imbibe the holy word into you. But this is a trickier situation, you can’t swerve your crush because you want to spend time with them. However, every second they tell you about how you need heaven more than any earthly pleasure is another second you feel your chances with them slipping away. How are you going to ask someone who just told you to let go of the things of this world, to go see Fifty Shades of Grey with you?


3. Call You Boyfriend/Girlfriend

The friend zone is bad, really bad. But the fake boyfriend/girlfriend zone is way worse. You’d love to hear your crush tell someone else that you’re their significant other, but it stings when you know that they are saying it in jest. You don’t want to be that person who took a joke too seriously so now you have to device new ways to move from fake-lover status to a place where you become a viable option. If you’ve been there, you know that’s as easy as ending dumsor.


4. Calls Another Person Boyfriend/Girilfriend

You know that it is most likely a joke. It is the same fake-lover zone  you know all too well but for some reason, you can’t get yourself to find comfort in the knowledge that they have been zoned. You get hulk-green with jealousy when your crush is calling another person their boyfriend/girlfriend and even though you know how horrible that zone is, in that moment you start wishing you were the one they were calling that.


5. Posting Nudes

Nudes in your social media feed are welcome until they are put up by your crush. When you have no emotional investment in someone, their nudes light up your timeline. If it’s your crush, the gloom is unbearable. Why are you showing everyone our breasts? It wasn’t meant to be like this! You were meant to do like Ayesha Curry and keep it for me; the one who matters. Now you’re heartbroken and you can’t even appreciate how perky those boobs are. What a shame.


So these are mine. Do you relate? Did I forget any? Let me know in the comments below.



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