To begin with, Sub refers to the Submissive. Whether you’re into BDSM or have more vanilla tastes, aftercare is something everyone should be doing. If you’re getting into any form of BDSM, you’ll need to learn proper aftercare.

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Aftercare, on one hand, refers to gently bringing someone back to reality (from the fantasy of play) and helping them feel grounded again and/or re-establishing the normal, loving roles you would normally assume (if you’re in a relationship).

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It also refers to dealing with physical injuries or “drop”.

When engaging in BDSM, there are often spikes of endorphins and adrenaline (especially if you’re doing something intense). When you crash from this natural high, there is a chance of “drop”.

This can cause you to feel like you can’t calm down, you feeling irritable, feeling guilty, worthless, or helpless, feeling tired or lazy, having difficulty concentrating, remembering details and making decisions, aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not go away even with treatment.

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If you’ve played often with your partner, you might just need to quickly double-check nothing has changed (or you’ve played often enough that you’re already familiar with the aftercare needed).

Things you should do

You need to take off all BDSM gear – like a blindfold, ropes, or restraints and move the sub somewhere comfortable and warm (off the floor). Injuries should be dressed and disinfected.

You need to offer painkillers, vitamins, supplements or antacids to deal with pain, lactic acid build-up, or loss of nutrients. Chocolates/juice can be offered (if the sub can have it) to take care of blood sugar levels.

It’s important to know that Doms can also experience “drops” too. The key to aftercare is caring for each other.

BDSM is all about Consent and Communication. You cannot force your opinions and BDSM beliefs down the throats of others.

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