As the name suggests, Rape Culture cannot be blamed on one thing, or better put, the existence of at least one or more “sexual abuse” activities or excuses can bring about the existence of what can be termed as rape culture.
Whatever that is done or not done, said or not said that in any way can lead to someone being raped also directly contributes to the existence and the propagating of rape culture.
It’s in the jokes, the sharp comments, the common sayings and everything in between.
Besides, the horrible act of rape itself, these are 16 times one might have consciously or unconsciously played a role in establishing rape culture in the country:
“Boys will be boys”
This saying is the perfect excuse for male impropriety. Whenever a man does something wrong (including sexual assault) the go-to excuse is – it’s not his fault, boys will always be boys”. As though that should exonerate him of all his actions.
Sometimes, it isn’t ones intention to pick on a rape victim, however, cracking jokes about something as horrifying as rape, could stand a chance of trivialising the immense emotional and physical problems rape victims actually endure.
“Complimenting” women/men you meet on the street about their bodies is not a good thing. Whistling at them, and talking about a part of their bodies on the street is also a form of sexual harassment. Catcalling suggests that when someone sees a girl/boy walking down the street and shouts something at him/her about his/her body, he/she’s doing so because he/she thinks it will make his/her day better. That’s not what’s happening. Not even close.
Unwanted Touch (non-sexual)
Someone’s body is their personal space. Before you can hug someone, touch someone on the shoulder, their hair or any part of their body without being invited to do so by the person could be seen as sexual harassment. If you think someone has a nice beard and you want to touch it, just ask permission.
Do you think it’s fun to just pull down your pants and expose your genitals in public? For you, it’s just jokes but it actually counts as sexual harassment. Whipping out your junk in public and pulling a Wisa Greid is not cool.
This is something some people might think is very normal but…it’s not. You do not, under any circumstances just send nudes to someone just because you feel like it. Unless you two have an agreement to share nudes whenever you want to but if you don’t, do not do it. That is not the way to start a conversation.
This is when you deliberately and not deliberately blame a rape victim for being raped. Straight out telling them it’s their fault or asking questions like what were you wearing? Why did you go there? will make the victim feel it was all their fault, making the perpetrator go free.
Yes, you have a crush on someone and you may or may not have said it yet but…the worst thing you could do is stalk the person. It’s out of line and not cute to be following the person and stalking them making them uncomfortable.
Non-consensual photos or videos
This is when you take photos or videos of someone without their consent. Always ask permission before you do that. There is a reason why modelling agencies and photographers ask people to sign release forms. Abusing someone’s personal space and taking videos or photos of them without their consent contributes to Rape Culture. We know in such a time when everybody has smartphones, all of us might be guilty of this at some point.
Spy cam – photos and videos
This is almost similar to the above but it gets into a sicker version. People set up spycams in peoples bedrooms, hotels rooms or even public bathhouses to toilets. That’s gross and straight up being a pervert.
Groping is basically touching someone sexually without consent. It’s quite common to see people groped in public and crowded areas. Men or women deliberately rub against unsuspecting people, touching them in ways that will lead to uncomfortable situations.
Yes, you’re having consensual sex and have both agreed to some freaky things. That doesn’t mean you should take things to the extreme. Once you two have agreed on a safe word, you should in no way violate that. The minute your partner utters the safe word, you need to stop. Immediately.
When you threaten, pressure or trick anyone into having sex with you, it’s known as coercion. Messing with anyone’s head to make them feel they owe you sex is wrong. This is usually from people in higher authority than the victim, making it easier for them to move to their prey.
Sometimes two people tape each other while they’re having sex and that’s okay. What’s not okay is choosing to post the video or pictures online just because the person dey bore you now.
Stealthing (covert condom removal)
This is all sort of wrong! There are men who deliberately take off their condoms in the middle of sex without their partners noticing, making them think they had protected sex when they didn’t.
Touching anyone sexually without their consent is molesting especially when it’s a child.
Being sneaky and putting drugs into anyone’s drink or food or deliberately giving someone alcohol just to get them to drop their guard so it’s easier for you to touch them sexually or have sex with them without any resistance from them counts as drugging