It can be beautiful but let’s face it, there are times you can do without it cos it finds a way to mess things up!
But someway somehow, no matter how many times we decide not to fall in love, that pesky little dude called Cupid finds a way to shoot an arrow into our unsuspecting asses.
Here are a couple of tips and tricks to totally avoid falling for that drop-dead gorgeous girl or boy who’s got all the qualities you need.
Step One: Take your ‘odenhyii‘ pills and hit your chest three times.
That’s the only and fastest way to get rid of any feelings. Swallow those pills every morning so you don’t trip and fall into love on your way to work or class.
Step 2: Ghost my dear, ghost!
One sure recipe for falling in love is always communicating with the person so…STOP! No matter how interesting he or she is, resist the temptation my dear! Disappear every two days when you lot have been texting for so long. The absence will keep your sense fresh, alert and firmly grounded!!
Step 3: Tie your body down when you’re talking on the phone.
You know when you have long conversations with that potential love of your life and your limbs don’t know what to do and keep moving all over the place? Yeah when you lift your legs in bed while talking to them, that’s how all the extra love hiding in all parts of your body go straight into your heart. Know this and keep your feet on the ground!!!
Step 4: Turn Bad to worse
If you’re an overthinker, this is the right time to work that mind!!! Figure out what it is you don’t really like about the person. I knooow at this point they seem so perfect but lol there’d be something that may not be that perfect! Too short, lisps, too buff, small ass…look at this point, anything will work. Amplify how bad it is in your head and you’d be fine!
“Short? Ayy what if that means they’d be mad at you all the time?! Can’t wait to find out! Time to scoot before you get burned!”
Step 5: Remember…nnipa y3 forken!
Yeah, remember this all the time!! Humans dey vex… all they do is break hearts and be selfish!
If you keep this in mind, you will see the love and dodge as you should!!! If it’d help, remember what a past ex did and voila! You’d be annoyed all over again!
Step 6: Make sure you have some extras you’re texting at the same time.
Just to make sure that your sense won’t leave your body to make way for love, HAVE MULTIPLE TEXT BUDDIES!! Don’t let that supposedly perfect person be the only one you text. Spread your awesomeness around with like…5, 8 others. If your attention is spread evenly like that, who you gon fall for??
Step 7: Get busy. Cupid finds love for the idle one.
Yes, dears, GET BUSY!! work? be extra productive! School? Learn extra hard cos lol who are you kidding? those resits weren’t by magic. Church? New hobbies? Try anything and everything that will keep you too busy to stop and daydream about someone.
NB: These steps don’t have to follow any particular order.
Flourish young Kings and Queens…don’t let anyone tie you down!!