Heya Kuulpeeps!! I know some of us are busy serving our nation right now and trying to balance the workload with the other spheres of our lives including the relationship part. Now some of you were posted to other regions and towns and I’m sure you definitely weren’t expecting that. Due to this, your relationships have now become long-distance ones and you have been a little confused about how to handle everything; balancing work, life as a whole and now, your long distance relationship.
At first, you guys were inseparable since yall were in school. I’m even sure you guys were living together on campus mpo.
Small separation noorr it’s like you cannot handle it anymore and you’ve already started thinking of breaking up. Well, don’t! I mean, if after you’ve followed all these suggestions and they don’t work then maybe yh….you can break up then.
First of all, if you’re freaking out about the whole distance thing and how your relationship is going to work out, then good!
Yes, good! I know you probably weren’t expecting this but yh. The fact that you’re freaking out means that you’re actually serious about your relationship. It means you know it’s going to be hard at times, but you want it to work. It means you’re ready to think about hard truths, learn from other people’s stories, and plan for how you’ll tackle your own hard times. It means you want some hardcore honesty about what lies ahead.
1. The Relationship Is Going To Be More Of An Emotional One
At one point you feel like everything is coming together; work is good, friends and family time is fun, online chats with le boo leaves you all warm and fuzzy inside knowing he is THE one. I mean, everything is perfect.
Then the next day; you’re going through a tough time at work, everything you do seems to go wrong and the sad part is that your partner isn’t going to be by your side to comfort you and give you that reassuring hug you so want.
These sort of ups and downs can give you emotional whiplash, and they can feel scary. You start to doubt yourself and the relationship. When you’re feeling low, you can be tempted towards one of two extremes. You can lash out at them, taking your frustration out on the person you love the most because you are miserable they’re so far away. Alternatively, you can start blocking them out or holding them at arm’s length. You can try to pretend everything is fine because you don’t want to burden them and in the process start to confide in someone else. Someone whos closer to you aaaaannd news flash! That’s reeeaally not good!
2. Sleepless Nights
We’ve all done it. You’re chatting away and look at the time, 7:00 pm, no worries we have plenty of time before the need to go to bed. You look back at the time, 2. 00 am… WTF!?
The worst part is that it’s the fifth night in a row that you’ve done it!
Lol…Sounds really familiar? Y’all should be able to build a sustainable schedule that benefits both of you.
3. Support From Others Will Be Hard To Come By
Don’t be surprised if your “friends” try to convince you that your relationship will not work and they go as far as giving you receipts as to why. Some will keep asking if your significant other is real. Others will start sowing seeds of infidelity in your mind (cancel these friends!!).
You will have to deal with this sort of stuff on some level. Your relationship will become the topic of choice numerous times, whether you like it or not. Some friends and family will be supportive while others will be second-guessing your decision. Over time you’ll realize that you need to be selective about who you talk to. Or, rather, that you need to be selective about whose input you pay attention to.
This comes in two folds:
- You being jealous when they tell you they’re going out with friends and you start to think of all the other people they might meet
- You seeing your friends cozied up with their boyfriends leaving you envious
You should be able to keep this in check so you don’t drive yourself into someone else’ arms.
5. Tough Decisions Should Be Made
At different times in your relationship, you’re going to be confronted with questions like:
- Where is our relationship headed?
- Are we going to visit? If so, when?
- Who will uproot their life to move?
- When should I call?
- Why didn’t you pick up my call?
They’re all very hard to answer and there will be plenty more. These questions take time to answer and are often revisited over multiple conversations. They raise complicated emotions, and you will both need time to really explore the practical and emotional implications of different scenarios.
We are not asking you to go and break up with your boo ooh, just be aware of how challenging it could be and adjust accordingly. All the best *wink* .