It’s no secret that not all relationships lead to a fairy tale ending. Fact is, it’s never that easy to acknowledge when your romantic relationship is over. At one point, you may try to mould someone into your prince or princess charming, or even think that you can work things out with your SO but time after time, nothing seems to be changing and you’re stuck dealing with the same problems over and over again.
The truth of the matter is, sometimes people just don’t work out, and if you don’t see improvements in your relationship, then it just may be time to say adios to that relationship.
Here are a few telltale signs that the relationship you’re in may not be a long-term one and chances are, you’re going to be dumped soon (or get heartbroken).
Are you in love or are you comfortable?
Getting back into the dating pool can be nerve-racking for most people to the extent that, it may seem easier to hold on to a relationship that has long passed its expiration date, probably due to the long history y’all may have (comfort). It’s understandable cos talking to different guys, looking pretty all the time to gain someone’s attention, going on a date every weekend when you’d rather watch movies and chill is just another level of stress!!!!. However, when you find yourself recounting the reason why you are still with your boo and you come up with “we’ve been together for a long time” as the main reason, erhm then it’s time to bounce. You’re in comfort and not in love.
Would you rather hang out with your friends on a Saturday night?
You cannot obviously spend all your time with your SO, your friends will not even like your partner or you for that. Some alone time is necessary too. However, you should also want to spend time with whoever you’re dating. It’s nice to have a go-to-person to share meals and be lazy with. But then again if hanging out with your partner feels like an obligation, kind of like, “bored, wanna hang?” type of thing, with no sizzle! No spark! It’s sad but just break up.
Friends and family are not fans
Listen, your true friends and family always want the best for you and would want to see you happy. Nonetheless, if you find that they are not supportive of your relationship and try to keep their opinions about your relationship to themselves, then probably they may have valid reasons that are worth listening to. Viewing things from their perspective may give you clarity as to where your relationship stands and possibly confirm that your relationship is as bad as you feel it is.
Tiny things annoy you.
Most times, these tiny things are meant to be nice or come from a nice place, but they just end up annoying you anyway. Well that’s your cue, there’s a much bigger problem. And oh, if this leads to an argument which tempts you to end things then that’s another red flag. In the same vein, if any other argument you guys have leaves you feeling terrified that your Significant Other (SO) might leave you at the end of it, kindly exit the situation.
You catch yourself window shopping
If you find yourself texting and flirting with other people at night more often, and you think it’s thrilling, you should perhaps advice yourself.
It’s clear that you’re unhappy and curious to know what else is out there. Scanning the market is a sign people! And not a hobby. This may end up causing you to be distant from your SO and distance is yet another sign. This may also be the time when you reminisce about the things you loved about you ex. Guys! When it gets there, what more can we say to alert you?
You miss your independence
If you realize that you’ve been thinking a lot about your single days, wanting to be alone and wanting to make decisions on your own, try to find out why you’re feeling this way, why you’re envious of your friends who are flying solo and why you would rather spend most of your time alone watching movies or doing your own thing than spend time with ‘le boo’. If it’s what we think then what are you waiting for?
There are no talks of the future.
Unless you’ve been dating for a short time, it’s important to communicate about the future of your relationship, each other’s hopes, dreams, goals, basically dem kind of stuff. It doesn’t necessarily have to be something big like buying a house, marriage or kids. It’s just to find out if y’all are on the same page with things for the next couple of months or even a year. If you don’t get this deep and avoid all chances of communicating about these kinds of things, well that relationship is going nowhere boo.
Lack of respect and trust.
This encompasses a lot of different things in a relationship. Know that your relationship is toxic, and will cause you to suffer if your partner habitually cheats on you, if he/she is verbally, emotionally and physically abusive and if he’s constantly rude and condescending. You. Need. To. Get. Out! Don’t even try to make excuses to stay in such destructive situations. If you don’t fully trust your partner or if they’re uncomfortable with you knowing their passwords or if you’re not down with him knowing your friends, don’t stay. Oh and if your relationship feels like a secret that you’re hiding from everyone then, Welp! You know what to do!!
Is it just physical for you two?
Do you normally spend most of the time with your babe hooking up like dogs on the heat with no emotional side to things, like a “friends with benefits thing”, you have to realize that, that situationship won’t last long.
You aren’t fighting but you aren’t communicating either.
This is a perhaps the clearest signal of all. See, arguing with your partner is not always a bad thing. It sometimes means that you’re not afraid, to be honest with them and you’re trying to work things out. Fighting just to “argue” is, however, a whole different story. But if you’ve been arguing, or dread arguing, and it moves into a phase of not talking meaningfully at all, which may feel like a relief but is actually a sign that you’ve both given up on being understood, a breakup is certain and it’s soon!!
Listen, the hints are lot, but these are just a few so critically examine your relationship and if you find that you can relate to a good number of these, do the right thing. A perfect and beautiful relationship is within reach for anyone who is all about finding the right one and working hard to improve your lives together. But if these problems come up and won’t go away, it’s time to go! Period!
Ignoring this and continuing with your obviously toxic relationship is your choice, and we’ll be here to publish your heartbreak story.