Y’all thought it’d never come but look! Exams is here!!
So after all the sharking and group discussions and passco solving 24 hours before your paper, you find yourself in the exam hall, ready to kill the paper or start calculating your resit fee.
These are a couple of people in the exam hall you may or may not have noticed during those brief moments of trying to recollect what you studied as you wrote the paper.
The nervous wreck
This one is extremely jittery. They keep looking around, shifting in their seats, moving their legs, dropping their pens. At some point, they will get up to go to the washroom…twice and will come back to looking around, shifting in their seats, moving their legs…see erh, STOP! better conjure stuff to write because the person you’re waiting for to help you cheat is too busy writing for their A.
The sleeping beauty
3 essay questions, countless fill-ins and objectives, the Lecturer has specified that he wants not less than 3 pages and you’re finding time to sleep? How?!!! We all stayed awake studying but…HOW??!!!! How do you fall asleep on the battlefield!? How?!!!
“Extra Sheets Please…”
The question says answer two questions only but madam is raising her hands for more paper…for what?!! These ones will make you read the question again 5 more times and question yourself during your journey back to your room: “Did I answer the right questions? what exactly was the instruction? or maybe i deviated?”
The new faces
Someway, somehow, anytime you go to write a paper, you find yourself seated close to someone you have never seen in class before. Like you’ve been going for lectures for 3 whole months yet during this time, you will find yourself surrounded by a couple of new faces. Y’all really read this course too? Ay!!!
The late comer
There’s always that particular person who always comes in minutes before they say “Start work”. It’s not like they are non residents and are coming in late because of traffic oo! You probably arrived with them, 25 long minutes before the paper and left them still under the tree doing last minute sharking. Jama you haven’t heard that “First class no be jollof erh”
Exams mu Usain Bolt
40 minutes into a 2 and half hour paper and they are already submitting their papers.
Makes you wonder if they even wrote anything at all.
Those who never finish on time…
Every time! Every single time, an invigilator has to snatch their paper or skip their table because they never finished the paper on time and are now writing their ID on the answer booklet. They are the ones who will say after the paper, “Oh i didn’t finish ooo”
Those who never find their ID numbers!
Three years in the university and you still haven’t figured out how the ID system works. These ones will walk around in the exam hall, making the same trips through the aisles, looking for their ID number on the tables. Know what is annoying? when they stop to check the numbers on seated tables…like you’re late!! Just look out for the empty seats and check the numbers on the table instead of stressing yourself reading out other people’s IDs! What are you thinking? that someone is sitting in your seat??
The Travis Scotts and Tyra Banks
It looks like these ones did not get the “exam week = ugly week” memo. While everyone is walking in looking super ‘wretched’ with their hair unkempt and their ‘charlewote’ sweeping the floor as they walk, these ones manage to walk in looking like they just returned from a party: clothes ‘fleeking’, shoes on point, light make up and good hair. They even have time to add accessories kraa.
The vibe and chill ones
Someone let us know if these ones ever put anything down on paper. Look, just try this: write for 5 minutes, look up and they are just chilled looking around. Go back to writing for an hour, look up again and they are still chilling, sometimes nodding their heads to some music playing in their heads. Music of Re-sits i guess.
‘Forgetti’ cameras no, forgetti stern invigilators no…it’s like these ones can make themselves invisible in the exam hall. They will get help no matter where their helper is. Giraffing? they got this! Whispering for answers? Easy peasy. They hardly ever get caught.
The Alo ones
These ones dierr, after the paper, they are the first to agree that the paper was difficult!! They will swear that they ‘didnt see top’ and will make you feel like you are not the only one sweating.
Twist: watch them get an A in that course and all the other ‘diffcult’ ones while you resit the paper alone.
The ones who always say “Everything is fine…”
No matter how bad the paper went, you will never get them saying it was a tough paper!!
“How was the paper?”
“It went well”
Meanwhile, later when they are alone and they think of the paper…
We have all been one of each at some point or the other. Don’t let some of them scare you! Just do you, finish the paper and chill until those grades come in!!