If I had a cedi for every time I did some dumb stuff for a boy, I’d be rich enough to drop out of school right now and live a pretty good life. I’ve had more than my fair share of dumb moments so I understand how when you’re wrapped up in your feelings for someone you’re prone to doing the most outrageous things to keep whatever it is that you have with the person going. But hold up. Pause. Take a breather. You’re worth way more than all that you’re putting yourself through for them. Because more often than not, if they did like you, you wouldn’t have to stress yourself all the time to keep things going. Here’s what (I’ve learnt and) propose you stop doing for the guys you are with:
1. Obsessing Over Their Texting Habits
This is where we all fall short. When that new crush doesn’t text back, the shivers set in. Did you send that “hi” the right way? We’re there too many “y”s ending your “heyyy”? If a person doesn’t bother to text you back, do not sit with your phone glued to you hand, wondering what he’s up to or why he hasn’t answered. Go dive headlong into a new adventure instead of waiting for some asshat to hurt you.
2. Dumb Yourself Down
Your brain is super sexy. Your intelligence is undoubtedly daring. Never dim your shine for someone. Speak your mind. Say what you think and share your opinions. The fact that you’re the only girl there doesn’t mean you cant join in the conversation. If he talks smack about your smartness, talk back. You will not be belittled by some guy with a big ego. Speak up.
3. Going Farther Than You Want To
Some people demand a lot. So much that it’s abnormal. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. Consent is also important when it comes to relationship, so to the guys reading tho, please don’t do the whole spontaneous kiss thing, (especially if you don’t know where you stand with her) else some slap you’ll get eh. Hm! But if you know she’s down for it, go ahead. And if a guy or girl wants to break things off with you because you choose not to do something sexual, good riddance! It’s way better you found out what they came for earlier than later when you might have invested a lot in the relationship. These people are not worth your time.
4. Ignoring Your Friends
This almost always comes back to bite people in the butt. You definitely need this support system. Don’t stop texting or talking just because you’ve found your significant other. Don’t blow them off when you’re invited out either. When it’s time to go and jam with your friends, go and jam till you pass out. Your friends are there for you whenever you need them. Don’t forget about them because someone else stepped into the picture.
5. Losing Weight
You don’t need to lose weight for anyone. If that’s why you’re going to the gym at 4am then stop right now. How do you feel, pounding away on a treadmill while he’s snuggled in bed? You deserve to be with someone who loves you for who you are, not one who’s going to criticize every single pound you put on and makes you insecure about your body. And this applies to those who are being told to put on some weight too. Whether you’re thick as a stick or thicker than a Snicker, you deserve to be loved just the way you are .
6.Never Ever Do Harm To Yourself
You are amazing, wonderful, smart, funny and all the fine things. Don’t hurt yourself because of someone. If you’re in a dark place and feel like you’re losing control, please reach out. There are so many people willing to help and lend a listening ear; from your school counsel team to your church counsel team, your family and friends. Realize that you are too incredible to let anyone hurt you bad. Talk to someone about it. It is therapeutic.
7. Don’t Cry Over Them
No. Dont even consider it. There is not a single boy out in the world who deserves your tears. Relationships should bring you joy (that’s if you’re with the right person) not emotional trauma. It’s easier said than done, but if he’s constantly bringing you to tears (and not in the good way) then just walk away babe. I promise you the world won’t end if you don’t have him in your life
You’re worth so much. Dust yourself yourself off and enjoy life! You only live once.