Some of us are in relationships, some of us have also been in relationships and broken up. Some relationships have ended up in marriages, others have lasted 6 years, 2years, 2weeks or even 3 days.
At some point we blame the other people involved for not being ‘what we want’ and then we turn to our friends for consolation and support. They’ll say to us, ‘he doesn’t deserve you’, ‘why are girls so dramatic?’.
Then we begin to think there are no good single people out there, they are either gay or taken. Maybe saying and hearing these things make us feel better. It’s them, not us.
Love is unfair though, the beautiful, the smart and the rich will attract more than their allotment of admirers while the ugly, the desperate and swagless for whatever reason are not going to have the same dating opportunities.
But if girls were more withholding, guys will be more likely to commit but because guys can get most of what they want without having to commit, they don’t commit at all. We get intimately involved and after a few make outs, we catch feelings and start acting up because we’re not in a relationship with them.
Some of us say we can’t stand drama in our lives and that all we want is a nice stable relationship with someone who loves and treats us well. There have been different types of people in your life; the liar, the arrogant, the one who gave you the best sex, the one who wasn’t good in bed, the crazy one, the one who cheated on you several times, the one who introduced you to your favorite hang-out and many others. Don’t regret them, not at all. You have pretty much learnt something from them.
So we need to get real, with a dose of self-reflection. Once you define what you want, narrow the options, make your choice and go for it. But before you go for it, work on yourself first. The person you’ll end up with is also hoping for a better person. Why do we find the person we think is the perfect person but then things don’t work? We’re not working on ourselves for the person, so they’ll leave if they feel they deserve better. Be right for the right person.