It has been four years since I said its over, but it has also been four years of absolute emptiness and envy. We had it all; our youth, our family, our religion and our love as innocent as a new born baby.
My first kiss, your first kiss, we believed sex would be better if we were married because of our high moral values and that our love would not be based on sex but an intimacy and chemistry that was satisfied by just laughter and conversation.
Your mother was mine, still mine as I do call on every occasion… she called me your wife and I often thought you would be the man i saw in my dreams rubbing my pregnant belly.
Now I see the way you look at her, and how she looks at you. I told myself it was just a fling, temporal like all the times you left. It’s been a year and you two only get stronger and grow more in love than ever. She’s been accepted by the family and the friends I used to rely on for support. How soon you moved on and found love.
Then, was ours love? Or a preparation of a greater love. You smile when we talk and tell me mummy still prefers me. What good would that do if another makes you happy? Mother only wants what will make you happy. Do not expect me at dinners, birthdays, weddings and family gatherings. I wound seven years of my life around you only to have to unwind.
But dear, once my first love, always my love. I may be a bit jealous… but I am happy for you and if I get to have a relationship I wish to have one like yours and hers. Do marry and send me an invitation. Be happy.