Things you’ll identify with if you have to spend Christmas Day with a large family

Image by © Ariel Skelley/CORBIS

Image by © Ariel Skelley/CORBIS

If you have a huge family like I do, Christmas Day means Family Christmas Parties…with family members that you only see twice a year at best.

And who doesn’t love those, right? Well if your extended family is anything like mine, here are a few things that’ll be all too familiar.


Christmas gifts from your Grandma.
Somehow, no matter how old you get, you never stop excitedly looking foward to gifts from your grandmother. And she manages to switch it up every year and keep it interesting too. From chocolates, to plump little envelopes with “credit money”, to religious items, to sweet little cards. For. Every. Single. Grandchild. All 32 of you. Grandmothers will have you wondering what they’re going to pull out of the bottomless pit that is her small handbag.


Someone’s given birth. Again.
The thing about large (& ever-expanding) families is that news takes a while to get to you or sometimes,might not even reach your ears. So finally seeing some your older cousins tends to catch you off guard. Cos they got busy during the year & they have a wife, a small wrapped-up bundle & a baby bag to show for it.


Bad Blood.
You’ll admit that no family is perfect. Family members fall out all the time & some remain more permanent than others. Think I’m lying? There’s an easy way to tell if you haven’t noticed already & it’s all in the seating choices. Notice how your Dad & Uncle Kwaku have never sat at the same table? Or he always chooses to get a table with your two favourite uncles every year while all the others mix up? Yeah. There it is. You’re welcome.


Food. Lots of Food.
Your family already know that you’re a shameless Obolo inside (and out). And it’s Christmas. The one time of the year no one gives you sidelong glances for attacking the food like all your life’s happiness lay underneath that heap of Jollof. And in the 4 slices of cake. And in the 3rd cup of ice cream. And the plate of tatale. And pork chops with a side of waakye. No. On Christmas everyone understands. On Christmas Day your Obolo is excused. So pile all of the variety on your plate. How much is life after all?


Your 400 cousins.
Your grandparents didn’t relax on their marital bed so here you are with 6 aunties and 5 uncles just on your Dad’s side. They in turn also average about 3 kids each. That translates to a busload of cousins. That’s more than any human being can deal with in a day, honestly.But when it gets tiring dealing with the grown ups & everyone’s finally settled, it’s crazy fun. All the cousins get together and all the banter & the jokes going round make you realise it’s not such a terrible thing after all to have so many people to deal with on Christmas Day. And you realise then that the crazy group of people you share last names & blood with aren’t so terrible after all.

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